The Dornish Bastard of the Vale
by dukemarius
Summary: After the death of Lady Arynn, Lord Yohn Royce decided to call his bastard son raised in Dorne, Aerion Sand, to Runestone, in order to help the Lords Declarant take the Vale back from Littlefinger. Rated M for language, sex, violence and everything NSFW in Westeros and Essos. I do not own ASoIaF, GRRM does :)
1. A Letter for the Bastard

Across the Narrow Sea, lies the city of Volantis, on the banks of the Rhoyne, the gigantic river that flows in the eastern continent of Essos. The proud city, who wanted to become the new Valyria, was divided by the river, but the two halves were united by the famous Long Bridge, one of the Nine Wonders of the Known World. There, you cand find anything: lace, silk, perfumes, spices, even slaves or whores.

In one of the many brothels on the Long Bridge, a man stood on a bed, holding one of the whores close to him, telling her stories and jokes. He had a dark complexion and green eyes but with a huge scar on his chest. The man is in his middle thirties, with a well-toned body and large fists.

"So, you are a bastard?" The man's lover from that night asked him with a silky voice.

"Yes, but I didn't think you will be so… judgmental, I mean, I may be a bastard but you are a whore. So why don't we fuck until we fall down from exhaustion and leave the talk for later?" The woman giggled and proceeded to kiss the young bastard on his lips.

"You look so manly, what is your name, bastard?"

"Aerion Sand"

"Sand? You are a Dornishman, aren't you, sweetie?" Aerion touched her woman parts, making her squirm. "In Westeros, it is said that bastards are lusty and treacherous people, prone to every form of perversities. I want to show me what a bastard can do!" The young man smiled and proceeded to enter her with his cock, which was quite big. The whore moaned, enjoying every minute spent in this position.

After Aerion finished with her, he served a cup of wine. The girl caressed him, touching his cock. "So, tell me about you, you promised!"

"Well, I don't even know your name! Until then, my lips are tightly shut! Unless you want to open them… with your tongue!" She gave him a hot kiss, and then said: "My name is Maysa, Aerion Sand!"

"Maysa… Well, there is not much to tell you about me. My mother was the only daughter of Gaerion Yronwood, a member of the greatest of the Martell's bannermen. My father is lord Yohn Royce, from the Vale."

Maysa laughed, and kissed Aerion again: "Why would a nobleman from the Vale fuck a noblewoman from Dorne?"

"You are a whore and you do not know the answer? And you were supposed to be a specialist in those problems. He craved her cunt, of course. And she craved his cock. And here I am! My father is like those uptight shits from the Vale, high on honor or something like that, and a bastard son would stain his precious reputation. So, he let me stay in Dorne, where bastards are not so reviled."

"So, why are you here, in Volantis?"

"Wanderlust. I craved to explore, to see this world, to escape the shit that is Westeros. So I joined the Second Sons until a year ago. I work freelance since then. And of course, to fuck the brains out of every girl from Myr to Asshai."

"You are a very bad man, Aerion Sand. I like bad men!" Aerion took Maysa again and proceeded to kiss her while fingering her womanhood. Suddenly, the door of the room opened and a tall man in shiny armor entered. Aerion tried to reach for his sword but the stranger called him to stop.

"I am not here to hurt you, Aerion!"

"Who the fuck are you? I don't owe you any money, so fuck off!"

"I am Ser Rogerion Grafton. I come here for you, to bring you back to Westeros!"

"Grafton? From fucking Gulltown?"

"Yes… I was told that you are an impatient and obscene man, so I will let your foul language slide."

"You will let my foul language slide? TELL ME WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE BEFORE YOU WILL BEG ME TO LET YOUR ARSE ALONE WHILE I RIP IT WITH MY SWORD!" Aerion's shout was heard in the entire brothel.

"I was asked by your lord father, Yohn Royce of Runestone, to bring you home. He needs you."

Aerion's heart felt like exploding. His anger was beyond any limits. Maysa left the room, fearing that the bastard will fight the knight. "WHY? For all my fucking life, I didn't receive anything from him! Not a fucking letter! If I have any home in this world, is Dorne. Not the Vale, not anything that resemble those cock-shaped mountains of yours."

"Please, it is very important. The whole fate of Westeros lies in the balance. We need you there!"

"Really? I am a bastard, born because your honorable lord Royce fucked a Dornishwoman. And you tell me that I am some kind of a savior for Westeros? Fuck off, you are probably a crazed shit of a knight, deranged by the blows you got in your head!"

Ser Rogerion sighed and took a letter from the bag he carried. "Look, read this letter, if you don't believe me!" Aerion took the letter and started to read it:

_To my natural son, Aerion Sand_

_My son, I know that I never sought you during all these years, but I know everything about you. You are a great swordsman and a strong and well-traveled warrior. I want to tell you that I need you here, at Runestone, with me, your father. You must help us, son, for you will receive glory beyond anything you could get fighting for who knows what company of sellswords. I promise you this. All you have to do is coming here, to Westeros, back to your home, and hear me out!_

_With love, Yohn Royce, Lord of Runestone, Lord Declarant of the Vale_

Aerion smirked. The letter was original, as he recognized the seal of his father's house. "So, Ser Cunt, what is this lord declarant thing?"

"Lady Arryn died, and all of the important lords of the Vale want to oust the new Lord Protector of the Vale."

"And you need what, a man to wipe the snot from your little Warden of the East's nose? To kill this Lord Protector so my cunt of a father to rule in his stead?"

"No, we want to protect the Vale, and Lord Robert as well!"

"Well, I don't care about your Lord Robert or about your Vale. But he said something about glory. What should I say, I like glory! I like it so much, it makes my cock hard as a fucking rock! I will come to my 'daddy' and hear him out. But, know this! If I don't like what he says, I will slit his fucking throat!" Ser Rogerion was not a man to be scared so easily by idle threats, if they were idle threats. But something in the voice of this Dornish bastard screamed to the knight that these were not idle threats at all.

"Fine, Lord Sand. We will depart today for Gulltown."


	2. Back to Westeros

After sailing across the Narrow Sea, in a voyage back to Westeros that Aerion didn't want to do it, the ship that carried both the bastard and Ser Rogerion arrived in Gulltown. The city looked extremely bleak, compared to the grandiose cities of Essos, with simple people travelling back and forth like rats, drowning into an ocean of grey.

"Lord Sand, we will go first to my house's castle here, in Gulltown. We need rest, after such a voyage across the sea. There is not much of a distance between here and Runestone, so we won't be late too much." Aerion looked at Ser Rogerion with eyes full of contempt: "You may be a knight, but you kill all the fun! Go, sleep in your stony castle. I will go to a brothel. My cock needs relief!" Rogerion Grafton seemed disgusted. "Lord Sand, it is a deed unbecoming a son of the honorable Yohn Royce to go to such establishments!" Aerion's eyes turn almost red with anger in an instant:

"Really? Well, your honorable lord Royce fucked my mother, and had me, a bastard! And next time you will deny me something, I will kill you, Ser…"

"Let me remind you that you speak with a knight, anointed with the seven oils in the Great Sept of Baelor! I walked the same path as Ser Arthur Dayne, the Sword of the Morning and Ser Barristan the Bold! I deserve some respect!" Aerion started to laugh:

"Arthur Dayne and Barristan Selmy were true knights, who deserved respect. You on the other hand are a weak, pathetic, uptight cunt!" Ser Grafton took out his sword with Aerion replying immediately with the same gesture.

"I advise you against it, Ser Cunt. You have no idea how I really fight!"

"Neither you, Lord Sand!"

"Oh, but I know it very well… You fight like a knight from Westeros. Me on the other hand, spending so many years in Essos… I learned some new tricks" Saying this, Aerion reached for his pocket and took out a large, black dagger, with a chain attacked to its hilt. Ser Rogerion froze.

"That's a… it can't be"

"But it is. It's a Dagger of the Damned, a weapon popular in Lys. The blade is dipped in manticore venom. One small cut and it's over. So, are you willing to risk everything just to shut my mouth?" Aerion Sand smirked while Ser Grafton put his sword back in its sheath. "I suppose not".

Ser Rogerion decided that they will skip the rest planned for the Grafton Castle and go directly to Runestone. They arrived after almost an hour.

"Lord Sand, I will enter to tell your lord father that the deed is done. You will come in when the lord will decide!"

"Fine!"

After twenty minutes, Lord Royce himself opened the doors of his great hall and looked to his son. Lord Royce, called "Bronze Yohn", was a large man, shaved, with white hair and a dour expression on his face.

"You are Aerion, right?"

"No, I am Balerion the Black Dread! I came here to fuck this castle up!"

Yohn Royce closed his eyes, thinking. After a while, he said:

"I guess it's not your fault for being so inappropriate, my son. After all, you grew up in Dorne, where mores are not so respected."

"Well, aren't you sweet? Mores, honor, shit like that doesn't work with me! Let me enter and tell me what you want!" Yohn Royce sighed and went inside the great hall with his son. Ser Grafton was inside.

"Ser Grafton, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for bringing back my son. We will talk about your reward after I speak with him!"

"I am honored, Lord Royce. I take my leave. Good day, Lord Royce, Lord Sand!"

"Good day, Ser Cunt!"

Yohn frowned. Aerion sat on a chair, drinking a cup of wine he found on a table. "So, father, tell me what you want!"

"It is a difficult situation, Aerion. Lady Lysa Arryn died under mysterious circumstances, falling through the Moon Door, in an apparent suicidal attempt. The only witness is said to be the bastard of Petyr Baelish, a girl named Alayne Stone. However, many of the lords of the Vale don't believe this story. We formed a council called Lords Declarant, to protect the little lord Robert."

"So, Littlefinger is now Protector of the Vale… And what do you need me for?"

"You will go to the Eyrie as our envoy, a Guardian Declarant. You are to ensure the protection of Lord Robert at all times. Your expertise with plants and drugs will help him immeasurably with his shaking problems and, if the rumors are to be believed, you are skilled with using magic. Also, you must find out what happened with Lady Arryn and, if Petyr Baelish is guilty, to bring him a swift end?"

"Fuck me… You know more about me that I know it myself, even though you didn't see me once. But you seem to forget one thing: I am ill… I am ill with wanderlust. I yearn for adventure, for fighting! I yearn to see new lands and to smell the fresh air of a wild, untamed island. Living inside the Eyrie would be torture for me! I almost went crazy on that ship that brought me back to Westeros."

"I can assure you, the reward is immense, my son. If you manage to do this for us, not only I will legitimize you, but I will name you my heir and grant you a fortune to spend it on your voyages. Also, I will get you a ship, to quench your thirst for adventure." Aerion smiled. The only thing that mattered for him was his desire to wander.

"You have a deal, father."

"Son, the mission is extremely hard. Everyone in the Eyrie hopes that Lord Robert will die. Others may even try to quicken his death. You must protect him at all cost!"

"I will do it, but not for you, not for the Vale and not for Robert Arryn. I do it for myself and my cravings."

"It's more than enough, my son. It's… good to have you with me!"

"Spare me this crap, father. Send a raven to the Eyrie, announce Littlefinger that I will arrive!"

"Yes. Good luck, Aerion!"

Aerion didn't respond. He caressed his sword's hilt, thinking about what was going to happen in the Eyrie. He wasn't afraid, as he was one of the best sellswords, with a wide array of skills in almost every domain. But he knew that Westeros could be more dangerous that even a khalasar of Dothraki. They were dangerous, yes, but he was even more dangerous. For the first time since his birth, Aerion felt that he belonged here.


	3. At the Eyrie

On the road to the Eyrie, Aerion Sand pondered at his life. Until a few days ago, he was just another sellsword, albeit a good one, trying to make his luck in Essos for years. And finally, when he managed to do it, he must return to Westeros. But now, he had a title, even though he felt it was a fake one, that of "Guardian Declarant". He had no feelings for the Vale, apart from disdain, and even less for his father. But being an heir to one of the greatest houses from the East and a bastard of a noblewoman from Dorne meant having the support of both Yronwood and Runestone, a support that would help him tremendously in the long run, with all his travels across the world.

_Look at these cliffs. Who in his right mind would live here and not go crazy? _Aerion's thoughts were the only ones that kept him company on the road, but he liked it that way. As he approached the Bloody Gate, he was called by one of the guards:

"Who approaches the Bloody Gate?"

"Guardian Declarant Aerion Sand, natural son of Lord Yohn Royce of Runestone!" He felt a ton of disgust while speaking those words, but he had to infiltrate the Eyrie by any non-violent means necessary. Aerion realized that if he treated this assignment like his sellsword contracts from Essos, he would find it a bit more bearable.

"You may pass, Lord Sand!"

As he rode towards the Eyrie, the castle seemed bigger and bigger. Its geographical position was perfect, in these impregnable mountains. Eyrie has never been conquered, a beacon of peace in a war torn Westeros. Aerion breathed the clear, mountainous air. It was fresh, and the smell of flowers nearby the path to Eyrie was incredible. _I guess every place in this world has its own beauty, _the bastard thought.

After a few more minutes, he arrived at the Eyrie. Outside, three persons waited for him, a man, a boy and a lady. Aerion got down from his horse and spoke, in the most polite manner he could speak:

"Greetings, I am Aerion Sand. I assume you received the letter sent by my lord father, Lord Baelish?"

Littlefinger looked at the bastard and immediately felt that he was not a man easy to manipulate, like the other lords of the Vale. This man lived in Dorne and Essos, intrigue was in his blood.

"Of course, Lord Aerion. Let me say that I am very grateful that the Lords Declarant decided to give me a chance to prove that Lord Robert has the best care possible here at the Eyrie, with me, his stepfather. "Littlefinger's words seemed insincere to Aerion, but he decided to play along. "Of course, Lord Baelish. I will act as a monitor of sorts, for the lords of the Vale." Baelish smiled.

"Lord Aerion, meet Lord Robert Arryn, Lord of the Eyrie and Warden of the East." Aerion Sand looked towards the small lord in front of him and was shocked by his appearance. Small, frail, holding a doll in his hand, with pale skin and black hair. _This child will rule the East the moment I will become Archon of Tyrosh._ "Lord Arryn, it's an honor!" Aerion bowed to the little Warden. Robert smiled towards the bastard and started to shout loudly:

"I have a new playmate! Come, play with me, please?" Littlefinger laughed and called for the maester.

"Excuse my lord, he has a very playful attitude today. Maester Colemon, escort Lord Arryn to his chambers. I need to speak with our esteemed guest in private!"

"Yes, Lord Baelish. Come, Sweetrobin!"

"No, I want to PLAY!" Suddenly, Robert Arryn started to shake violently, wetting his pants in the process. Before the maester intervened, Aerion Sand took a small bottle from his bag and quickly made the lord drink from it. After a few seconds, the seizures stopped. Maester Colemon looked amazed: "My lord, what is that? It's something extraordinary!"

"This? This is a solution combining two very rare plants that grow only on the Rhoyne valley. It is used as an anesthetic in large quantities but a few drops will calm down even a ravaging dragon. I will give you some of these plants. I brought them with me across the Narrow Sea. In the meantime, take this bottle. Give him two drops every day. After he finishes it, I will tell you the means to prepare more."

"Thank you so much, my lord!"

Littlefinger looked impressed. _Aerion Sand… I knew that he is dangerous. That is a man I must be careful with._ "Pardon me, Lord Aerion, but with all this fuss with Lord Robert, I didn't introduce you to my natural daughter, Alayne Stone." She looked beautiful, more than beautiful. She was dressed in a long, black gown, with black gloves. Aerion kissed her hand:

"Milady, I am so pleased to meet you!"

"Likewise, Lord Aerion." Her voice was beautiful too.

"Lord Baelish, I want to rest. Can you give me a room with a bed to sleep in it?"

"Absolutely! I will tell the guards to escort you right away!"

A man with a sky blue armor escorted Aerion Sand to his room. A warm bed, covered with furs, a table and a bookcase, and lots of candles. The room was perfect for Aerion's needs. He looked to all the books and their titles. Aerion was an avid reader, believing that a man must use his mind before he uses his sword. _Eyrie… I never thought I will visit it someday. My father was right. That child is in danger here. He wouldn't last very long with his disease. What should I do? I hunger for the open world, for Volantis, Braavos, Qarth, the Slaver's Bay, the Forest of Qohor and Asshai. I crave for the Summer Isles and the ruins of Old Valyria. But he is a child, a spoiled, sickly child… But a child nonetheless. No child should be hurt. I will stay here, trying not to go crazy and maybe find a way to end this mission._ The sellsword smiled and went to the bed, covering himself with a wolf's fur. He dreamed about Essos and about that whore in Volantis, promising in his dreams that he will return there one day.


	4. Two Devils and an Angel

Next morning, Aerion Sand woke up very early, before any other person in the castle, apart from the guards. He dressed into a purple costume and left his room. He walked the halls of the Eyrie, thinking about what he would do next. _I must find a way to gain access to Robert's room, to gain his trust, to find out if he is abused here and to extract him from the castle if the need arises._ He was soon distracted by the sound of footsteps, so light that it would have been undetectable by a lesser ear. However, Aerion's senses and abilities developed tremendously in Essos, where one must be careful at any time, for footsteps usually means trouble for a famous sellsword such as the bastard. However, these footsteps were not trouble at all, for they were Alayne Stone's. Petyr Baelish's daughter woke early too.

"Lord Aerion, you are sleepless too?" Alayne looked even more beautiful than the day before. This time, she dressed into a beautiful green dress, with meticulous embroideries inspired from history. While smiling towards the girl, Aerion noticed the Doom of Valyria and the Battle of the Trident. He remembered that battle with great sadness. He was only twenty years old when Rhaegar Targaryen was killed by the usurper, Robert Baratheon. Being from Dorne, Aerion was a Targaryen loyalist and he would have joined Daenerys at Mereen if he wouldn't have returned to Westeros.

"I am, milady. Looks like I am not accustomed to the climate of the Vale. You look beautiful!"

Alayne's cheeks reddened. "Thank you, Lord Aerion."

"Would you walk with me, for a while? I hope I am not too impertinent!"

"Not at all, Lord Aerion."

The two bastards walked outside, in the beautiful garden of the Eyrie.

"Have you slept well, Lord Aerion?"

"Yes, surprisingly well. Like I said, I am not well suited for this kind of cold climate. But why are you awake? It seems from the look in your eyes that you didn't sleep at all!"

"How would you know that?"

"I know… You learn many things across the Narrow Sea." Alayne smiled and decided to ask her partner in conversation a more personal question:

"Why are you here, milord?" Aerion knew that any daughter of Littlefinger's would be as well versed in intrigue as he, so he must be careful with his choice of words.

"Lady Arynn's untimely death deeply saddened the Lords of the Vale. It's in their right to be afraid that Lord Robert would be affected. He is a more… sensitive boy, and he is the Warden of the East. Some people say that the power of a kingdom is determined by the power of its ruler, and at this moment, respectfully, Lord Robert is not one of the most powerful rulers. I was sent here to… oversee his growth into a strong and dependable ruler, a true Arryn." Alayne looked impressed by Aerion's words but decided to push the envelope even further:

"But as I recall, the Vale helped King Robert in his rebellion, and you are a Dornishman. Why would you help the Vale? Your lord father didn't raise you, I know that much!" Aerion was right; Alayne is really intelligent and inquisitive. _So, Littlefinger uses her to know my true reasons._

"Every day since the fall of the Targaryens, the Seven Kingdoms entered a period of decline under a weak ruler such as King Robert. I want to help the realm. I know the fact that both Eddard Stark and Robert Baratheon fostered here, at the Eyrie, so it was natural for Jon Arryn to try to help them. It was a question of honor, it wouldn't have been the Vale if they would lack honor. As for the Dornishmen, you realize that Elia Martell, the sister of Prince Doran was the wife of Prince Rhaegar, so the Martell's bannermen fought for the Iron Throne. It was a problem of tradition and respect, not personal preference." After she heard his reasoning, she smiled warmly towards Aerion.

_Shit, that was close. This little mockingbird would have been the death of me if she would have deducted my true intentions. I must be careful. _Aerion thought during breakfast. Lord Robert left his chair and went to a nearby drawer. He brought out a small package:

"I have something for you! Uncle Petyr said that I must thank you for saving me. Thank you!"

"You honor me, Lord Robert. I am your humble servant." Aerion bowed before opening the box. It was a small broche, with the sigil of House Arryn and a small letter:

_Thank you for saving my life. You are a model of loyalty and honor. _

_With respect, Lord Robert Arryn, Lord of the Eyrie and Warden of the East_

Aerion smiled and thanked the little lord again. Littlefinger rose from his chair:

"Lord Aerion, please, follow me!"

"As you wish, Lord Baelish. Lord Robert, Lady Alayne, please, excuse me!" Aerion followed Littlefinger into his room, which was much spacious and more beautifully ornate than his.

"Lord Aerion, I am Defender of the Vale, so I must be blunt. I know why you are here. You are here at the behest of your father who doesn't trust me. He believes that I am going to take over the Vale and use Lord Robert as a puppet or worse, to kill him! Preposterous! I know that child since the day he was born and I can assure you, I love him!" Aerion noticed Baelish's straightforwardness and decided to be direct too:

"You are uncomfortable with my presence? If that's so, then my father's suspicions maybe are true. Lord Baelish, I am a Dornishman. I poisoned my first man at the age of 5, I fought at the Trident, and I spent many years across the Narrow Sea. I've eaten fruits from the Mossovy forest after I fought a shapeshifting demon. I learned that no matter how high are the heights you aspire too, there are other heights even higher! Wordplay, but my motto in life. You are an ambitious man. Do not think I do not see through your mask, but men like you are necessary, as are men like me. I am not going to renounce my mission, for at its end lies what I want. And it won't be very good for you if you kill me. The other Lords Declarant would have a reason to wage war against you. Men like you are not fighters. They fuck, not fight. Men like me fight, fuck, and, more importantly, kill. What happens when men like you meet men like me?" Littlefinger was baffled. While he had the entire Eyrie in his pocket, Aerion was almost his equal in political savvy and viciousness. And he was a fighter as well, and an explorer. For now, he must be careful.

"I admire the fact that you came clean towards me, and I can assure you that I won't try to kill you. Not that I can do it. If you care about Lord Robert, work with me into raising him a powerful Lord."

"Of course." Petyr Baelish and the bastard from Dorne shook their hands and left the room together, looking at one another.

_Smart this one, and powerful too. I always thought that if you can't fight a man, you must fuck a man. But this one can't be fucked._

_Petyr Baelish, Littlefinger. Smarter than a maester, slier than a Dornish paramour with words sweeter than honey. You will be a challenge. I am glad that I am here. Finally, I can have some fun for a change!_


	5. A not so Funny Moment

A fortnight passed in the Vale, very slowly for the bastard Aerion, who was bored and missed Essos more than anything else. While he promised to himself that he would protect the little Lord Arryn, the boy's behavior made the Dornishman rethink his promise over and over again. However, Lord Royce, his father, would make him a bit happier by inviting the Eyrie court to Runestone, for a few weeks. Not that Aerion enjoyed Runestone more than the Eyrie, but at least he was closer to Gulltown and to the brothels there. _Gods, I need to fuck something. My cock needs relief! _Aerion smiled when having these wanton thoughts. _I guess it's my bastard blood that takes control over me._

While at the Eyrie, Aerion Sand managed to befriend one of Lord Arryn's personal guards, a bastard like himself, Roderick Upcliff, one of the many sons of Andros Upcliff, Lord of the Witch Isle.

"So, Lord Aerion, we are going to the Runestone… That's much better for the little lord. Samwell will train him well!" He was referring of Samwell Stone, the famous master-at-arms of Runestone, a powerful fighter of the Vale.

"And much better for my cock! Gulltown's whores would be much closer to me! I really pity you. Staying on the top of this mountain, with no women but these old washerwomen crones…" Roderick Upcliff laughed:

"Well, some of the boys are bringing girls from Gulltown, usually hiding them in haystacks. They are bringing them in carts through the Bloody Gate. They fuck them and then send them away the same way they brought them."

"A brilliant idea, my good man! Surely your cock is much happier than mine!"

"Not quite… you see, I don't really want to have anything to do with this type of women…" Rogerion spoke gravely. Aerion Sand smirked:

"Ah… so you like boys! No problem, we just need to find a bigger cart to haul them in here!"

Uphill smiled: "No, I don't like boys. It's just… I don't want to father any bastards… Not that I have anything against any bastard but… My brother, Lester, has a natural daughter, Anaya. He only acknowledged her after our father argued with him and since she was born, Lester's wife treats her like shit. I don't want a son or daughter of mine to have to suffer the same fate as my niece!" Aerion understood perfectly, as he was a bastard.

"We, bastard-born sons, have terrible burdens… We exist on this goddamned world just because our fathers squirted us in some woman's belly in a moment of lust or madness! And we have to carry this burden for the rest of our lives!"

The discussion between the two continued for ten more minutes, after which it was interrupted by Lord Robert's cry. Aerion ran towards the courtyard to see his father, Yohn Royce, trying to calm down an enraged Lord Arryn. Aerion laughed: "No wonder why our lord cries so loud when he sees you. You look like the Black Goat of Qohor." Lord Royce snapped at his son:

"I don't care about your japes! Do something with the Lord, calm him down!" Aerion sat down on the grass.

"Come here, my Lord. Tell me, what happened? Did my father's face scare you? Don't worry; he could scare even a Dothraki screamer."

"He… he wants… to kill me!" The entire courtyard burst in laughter. Only Yohn Royce sighed.

"I came here to personally escort Lord Robert to Runestone and I gifted him a mace that was my father's and his father's before him." Lord Robert continued to cry and Aerion tried to comfort him too:

"There, there… Lord Robert, my father is many things… A cunt, first and foremost, and an ass… But he is not a killer. He brought me from across the Narrow Sea just to protect you! I mean… he cares for you more than he cared for me in almost thirty-five years. He gave you this mace to make you strong, to protect yourself in the case that someone actually tries to kill you!" Aerion's words calmed down Robert who then hugged the bastard and apologized to Lord Royce for his outburst.

"Shit!" Aerion screamed.

"What happened, Aerion?"

"Well… Lord Arryn, you are the Warden of the East, the Lord of The Vale and the Eyrie and whatever there might be in those mountains! But it's not very…lordly of you to pee on people who embrace you!" All the combined Eyrie and Runestone regiment laughed intense: Lord Robert peed on himself, wetting Aerion Sand in the process. Master Colemon arrived to take his lord to his chamber, to quickly change his pants before the departure from the Eyrie.

"Well, son… if my face would scare even a Dothraki, then your hug can make even Wardens piss themselves." Aerion didn't laugh, being busy trying to clean his cloak. After a few minutes, Lord Arryn, now with a new pair of pants, Aerion, Littlefinger, his daughter and many of their guards left for the Runestone.


End file.
